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September 28 This Is What Love Looks LikeSilently, I watch them from the doorway. They don't know I've been standing there for a minute or two, this couple I've known my whole life. They are not speaking. He is watching TV, and she is watching him. They've never let their emotions be shown publicly, not even in front of us kids. I've never heard either of them say "I love you" to each other. I've never seen them hug each other. In the last 5 years or so, they've begun holding hands in public, but that's the most intimacy I've ever been exposed to.
Their marriage is strong...probably the strongest marriage I've ever seen. They met at a dance put on by his University, which invited HER University to attend. They had a long distance relationship for the first year of their togetherness, because their schools were 600 miles apart. After graduation, they spent 2 months together before she went off to explore Europe with her girlfriends - a trip she had planned for 4 years. Again, they were separated. By the time she returned, they both knew they couldn't live without each other. They were married 9 months later.
Two years after that, my family moved from Ontario to B.C., where my Dad was promptly offered the opportunity to go to Yellowknife as a project manager for his engineering firm. He left her again, this time for 2 years. Every 6 weeks, he came home for 7 days. When the job was done, they vowed never to be apart like that again...and for the next 25 or so years, they weren't.
Five years ago, my Dad got a job offer in Calgary. My Mom was 7 years from retiring with a full pension, and did not want to leave Kelowna. My Dad couldn't refuse an offer so good...so he left her again. He has been living in Calgary for the past 5 years, she in Kelowna. They are still married...33 years now.
As I stand there at the doorway looking at her watching him, watching the TV, I think about all they have been through. I wonder why they don't show their love for each other with outward affection...why she asks me to leave the room so she can say goodbye privately to him...why she doesn't want me to put my arm around her as we walk into the ICU to see him...why she didn't even kiss him goodbye when they wheeled him away to have his surgery...why she didn't say "I love you". Suddenly, I see her catch his eye during a commercial. They smile at each other, still not a word is spoken...but then I realize that a thousand words were spoken between them in that 10 second smile.
Now I know what Love looks like.
Jenn OUT...
Quote of the Day: "Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." ~ Kahlil Gibran ~ Comments (11)
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